Maybe I could write about stuttering? That is definitely that I have invested a lot of time in and have a lot to say about.

On foreign language and stuttering:

As I learned in this article, some stutterers, like Henry James, have found relief in being able to speak more fluently (meaning, smoother) in other languages. In my case, it is the opposite: I stutter far worse in a foreign language. I remember realizing this pretty early on in my days of studying Spanish in school, so I wrote off foreign language as a successful part of my life, as I did with other things like acting, public speaking, and most careers, to be honest. And when I recently decided to learn Portuguese seriously, the same doubts came up, because I again hit the always-present wall of much more difficult speaking in a foreign language. But I owe it to my speech therapists for instilling in me the confidence to not allow my difficulties speaking close so many doors in my life.

So I'm going strong with the Portuguese. And I have had to remind myself that, in some ways, the road to fluency is more difficult for a stutterer like myself, as I have to constantly be vigilant, as I do in English, paying attention to my breathing, muscle control, etc. But it is a rewarding feeling in and of itself to be able to face the challenge, stutter and all. I hope that hearing this will encourage other stutterers who have given up on learning another language because of their speaking difficulties.

Also, one thing that I have found, which I shared with my speech therapists, is that I find my Portuguese study to be beneficial for my English speaking, as English now feels much sweeter in my mouth after having spent several hours choking over the many new sounds and combinations I have to learn in Portuguese. And when I enjoy speaking, I speak more smoothly. I have been able to savor English more. Which is an unexpected benefit.

Being a stutterer is interesting, for a lot of reasons. Something that often strikes me is how often I "forget" that I stutter. As in, I have developed throughout my life a subtle dissociation, based primarily in fear and an unwillingness to accept myself completely. I learned from my speech therapist that this dissociation is not at all uncommon--she told me of a client she once worked with, an elderly man, who, when he began treatment, continually denied that he stuttered. It's obvious in hindsight, or from the viewpoint of anyone except for this man, but the very process of accepting who he was improved his speech immensely. I have found the same to be true for me.